Hello my lovely readers,

It’s been over 2 years since I have written here or anywhere for that matter.

Yes I have written dissertations, courseworks, emails and tons of content copy but I haven’t written about ‘me’.

It’s been rare when I have had a Saturday without plans. I catch up with friends or explore activities in London on Saturdays in the pursuit of getting out of my own head. I cannot bear to stay at home and think about everyone that I am missing at home. This is probably the main reason why I try to keep myself occupied on a Saturday.

Today is one rare such day, I’m calling it ‘Self Care Saturday’

Today is about ‘me’, taking care of the person who fights every day. A break from adulting and a day of self-pamper in my lovely little cottage home and neighbourhood. I still have 2 hours dedicated to practicality but after that, I plan to take a shower, prepare my lunch and go for a walk in my idyllic neighbourhood of Streatham hill.

I will be exploring some vintage thrift shops that are only open on Saturdays and close by 5 on weekdays which means I am never able to make it to them. Well, today is the perfect opportunity to do just that. I live in this neighbourhood surrounded by coffee shops, thrift shops, and a cosy deli where you get delicious baked treats for practically nothing, vintage book shops and charity shops filled with beautiful antiques!

I am excited to see what treasures I find today from them and I will be sure to add them all here as I am writing this post in advance.

I will end my little walk with a massage at a parlour right outside my house, I’ve been eyeing the dreamy massage chairs for ages but I have never been able to make it there as Sundays are usually for cleaning and reset but it seems like the perfect time to go there today and God knows I need a massage after the week I’ve had, I might also get a pedicure at the same time.

That’s all my outdoor time for today, after that I will return to my dreamy little cottage and spend the day watching Heart stopper and finish the rest of my book. I am currently reading, the first book out of the seven of the Seven Sisters – Maia D’Aplièse’s story. It is the most ludicrously mind-tingling book I have read in a long long time or probably ever.

So it is a day of antiques, books, candles, dessert, massage and me time today.

Hope you enjoy this little time capsule read of my Self-Care Saturday and plan something similar for yourself soon.

I will come back to you with my finds of the day!

To be continued…

2 hours later

Hello Readers,

Today’s post is going to be about wellness and the act of self-love by eating right and respecting your body. There is no such thing known as a DIET. Healthy eating is a much-required practice and almost a mental routine that not only gives you a toned body but also restores your youth as much as possible within your age bracket. Once again, I am no expert but my regular practices have worked out well for me and now nutrition is wired into my brain as though it has been a lifetime habit. I am going to share with you the regular food routine that makes me happy and gives me a lot of energy and hence increases my productivity.

First thing in the morning

This keeps changing depending on the ‘Help’ we have at the moment. Currently, with part-time help, I go straight to my milk coffee with 4 tsp sugar and a cup of Twinings Green tea with a tsp of honey in it. I don’t have any biscuits or things like that simply as per my preference.

Breakfast

I take my breakfast between 10 am – 10 : 30 am and for breakfast I eat either one whole egg or an egg white (again depends on my health and mood) along with a glass of freshly squeezed fruit juice with no additional sugar. The only sugar I take throughout the day is in the morning coffee.

Lunch

Currently, I have stopped having oats and switched to Brown rice for lunch. I ask my Help to cook 1 and a half spoon of raw rice which after cooking obviously increases. On the side, I have 2-3 Katori of sabzi / vegetable curry and one fish. The cooking is done with normal amount of oil and the curries are really tasty. By looking at the side dishes, no one could tell that it is consumed by a person following a healthy lifestyle. That is because I believe everything in the right amount is necessary. Be it ghee, oil, salt, sugar, these are all required for our body to function well.

No mid snacks aka bikel er khabar

Usually I don’t eat anything between my lunch and dinner as both my breakfast and lunch are quite healthy and ample amount.Sometimes if I am hungry, I have a few almonds.

Dinner

I like to eat a very simple dinner which is a combination of sautéed veggies like broccoli, sweet corn, carrots and beans mixed in a bowl of chicken and egg white soup. This soup is extremely delicious and keeps us full throughout the night. The goodness of protein and olive oil adds on the health benefits.

Occasionally I follow up my dinner with a Chamomile tea which helps me sleeps and also calms my nerves if I am having an anxious day.. Throughout my day I also fit in 2 cups of black coffee and 4 cups of Twinings Green Tea.

So that’s it, that is my everyday food habits. I get a lot of DMs and messages regarding this topic which is why I decided to sit down and write it for you. This is something I do, I also take 2 cheat days a week (Saturday and Sunday) during which I can eat up an entire restaurant in addition to fun beverages. This is not the diet you want when trying to lose weight but this is a good healthy way to maintain it. You can find my nutritionist’s number in my previous post, please make sure to contact a professional nutritionist before making any changes to your eating habit.

Take care of yourself, Stay healthy and live life to your fullest potential,

Talk to you soon on my next post.

Hello Readers ! This is a highly requested blog post about my weight loss journey and the little tricks and tips I have discovered for myself..

Firstly let’s talk about the role of mind in weight loss. If you are not ready, if you are not mentally there, prepared and really want it there is no way that you will commit to this. Let’s face it, food is an emotion and junk food is like a toxic relationship! It’s that boy / girl who is perfect for a weekend affair but not marriage worthy.. Egg white, Chicken, salmon, ghee, a bit of cheese even, almond, almond milk, chia seeds, flax seeds, fennel seeds. These are your wife/husband Meterial foods. Marry nutrition and feel free to have those once a week affair with junk food. That’s how you are going to look good and therefore feel good, you will have a whole new perspective of the world.

Up until December 2019, I used to look like a sweet boudi .. As soon I took up this goal, by then I was mentally prepared. I had failed a couple of times in the past two years. Once I got a little bit of success I used to get too cocky. But honestly there is no such thing as good enough ! Don’t stop if you think you are at a good enough state. You have no idea how good you can get trust me, you don’t know what your potential is until you give yourself the very best, the very best effort. I now barely look 22 ! Every time I look in the mirror even if I’m in a rush, cleaning something just stopping to wash my hands, it’s a clear change and a shocker. Eating healthy not only helps you loose weight. It changes your colouring, purifies your blood and changes a lot about your face.

The reason I’m blabbering on about the mental aspect of it is because being ready is everything, it’s the foundation of this mansion we are building… This January when I took up this goal, I thought I will fail, I would not be loosing weight and end up frustrated and eat to give myself emotional comfort and therefore end up gaining more weight. In my uni years when I went on a diet and lost 23 kgs I did it very badly, it was very risky as I lived alone and luckily my health got really bad when my mom was visiting or else who knows what could’ve happened. I had collapsed on the bathroom floor, my mom found me an hour later. I’m known for my long bubble baths so she thought I’m just taking my time and when I didn’t return from my bath she went in and found me unconscious. I had made all the wrong choices. I was starving myself. This time around I’m not 19. I am a mature grown woman, I read up a lot about health and nutrition and even went to a nutritionist. Starting out with a nutritionist is very important. They have a special weighing scale where your weight is divided into.. fat percentage, bone weight and muscle mass. Understanding this is very important. Sometimes we think we are loosing weight and therefore fat but we might also be loosing muscle, which is very unhealthy and can cause bones to weaken. Any accident can have fatal results on such individuals. I followed her for a few months I learnt a lot from her. Eating the right things and working out helps you gain muscle and they are low on calorie so you feel full but your calorie intake is low therefore you loose weight.

There is a calorie intake that men and women should consume. For women it’s 2000 and for men 2500. Basically in order to loose weight you have to regularly create a calorie deficiency, eating less than 2000 will make you loose weight. This information is easily available on the internet.

I am no expert or a professional nutritionist, please don’t follow my diet as your body is different to mine and it might not have the same effect on you as it did on me. What I can talk to you about, something that you can follow is the will and mindset. For 3 months I barely had any cheat days. January to March that is. Maybe once in a month I would have high carb foods.

A typical healthy eating day for me is. Waking up in the morning and drinking a glass of warm water with a bag of power seeds in them. Power seed tea bags can be found at Spencer’s, it’s power packed with chia, fennel and flax seeds. Isn’t that brilliant? You don’t have to buy these things separately, you can just have a tea bag packed with them. I found it myself and I’m sharing it with you, I bought this by the company Typhoo.

Drinking this just gave me that feel good factor, it boosts the metabolism and makes your immunity system better. My skin started to become pretty good for me. I barely wear makeup these days and lockdown or not. I have the confidence to go out without makeup now.

For breakfast I like to eat an egg white, maybe with a few almonds and a large glass of fruit smoothie.

My morning is incomplete without my milk tea or coffee with sugar. Yes I have milk tea with sugar, toned milk but yes milk. I can’t do without milk in the morning and who wants to start a bitter day without sugar. The rest of the day I’m not going to have sugar but the mornings are not meant to be bitter ! At least that’s what I say !!

At lunch I would be having a half katori like 2 table spoon brown rice with 3 kind of sabzi and a fish. And for dinner I have a chicken soup.

In the evening I usually don’t eat anything but if I get too hungry, I have a few almonds.

During my diet days, I was full on into work. Business and NGO so I was running all over town. Sometimes I met people in cafes and sometimes I chose to have meetings in cafes. I was seeing results on my face everyday in the mirror, I was so pumped up that I made sure NO became my favourite word. Make any excuse, say your stomach is upset or whatever but when visiting someone, please refuse Shingara and those kind of snacks. Or if you must have something out of courtesy then make sure you have Twinnings green tea after half an hour. Green tea is also your best friend on cheat days however it’s better not to have them on diet days simply because you don’t need to and let your digestive system get strong on its own. But on cheat days 4 cups of GT is your pal !

No other brand is good enough. Twinnings is the best ! Even at these cafes, eating healthy made me feel so good and light that I choose to eat salads with some feta cheese which by the way works great with low carb diets and chicken. Or sometimes I had a large protein filled smoothie. Check content of your food for nutrition. Starving will only get you bloated. Stay filled with nutritious foods.

Us women especially, it is our habit to oblige, do the right thing be polite. We can still do all those things but mentally put our health first. Because the million little things you do for people will not overshadow the one big thing you don’t do for yourself and you will end up sad and depressed.

Last year the month of June, pushed me towards my journey of self love. It made me realise that there are only two things that matter the most in this world, money and beauty. You must have at least one in order to survive and rule !

Have you seen those people who don’t look half as pretty as you and still they carry themselves with confidence because they have a good body ? Now imagine how good will you look with that body and your face… For me now healthy eating has become an unshakable habit. I feel clotted sort of if I cheat for more than a day, by the second day I start feeling kind of sad like I’m polluting myself. I don’t drink anymore, in this year there have been 3 days when I picked up a drink. Alcohol is no good for anybody. If you need something to intoxicate you in life, I’m sorry you’re doing life wrong. Be high on your work, on your creativity and self love those are the only addictions that will do you any good. I’m extremely happy without alcohol in my life, I don’t miss a thing and I feel like I am more alive.

In all of this the mind plays the biggest role. I love cheesecake, pizza, kfc, biriyani all of these things and today I have them back in my life because I have reached my goal so I can cheat once a week but if you’re trying to loose weight. You cannot cheat once a week. Maybe once a month… just give this 3-4 months of your life and you can have all these junk foods back in your life.

I hope all that I have shared with you helps you. Not in deciding what to eat that part you have to consult your nutritionist and read up, please don’t follow my chart without professional consultation. This post is all about mental preparation because the biggest How in How you did it ? Is the mind …. Last but definitely not the least, let me share with you my nutritionist who helped me understand my body, Mrs. Anubhava Khandelwal ‭+91 0 98309 52826‬. Feel free to contact her and then go ahead with your journey..

 

 

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Just like myself.. Prayas has touched the lives of many souls and helped them heal. Today’s post is about one such beautiful human being and his initiative which has given away many a glorious smiles and that too on a very special day for children, on the occasion of Christmas Eve.

Our Founder’s close friend Mr. Arnab Datta, is a young corporate and like many of us millennials his general indulgences would usually be on food, travel and shopping. The phrase ‘money can buy happiness’ is not untrue… it is the way in which you spend it that decides the kind of happiness you are going to feel…

He too was looking for something more, something beyond a pair of jeans or an enriching travel experience.. We are so busy in catching up with our goals that somewhere down the line, it is our soul that remains unserved.. the very things we believe in, we are unable to apply to our lives and by the time we realise it, we are running out of time. I can relate to this feeling which I’m sure is the reason why most of us want to make a difference in the world at the first place.

Mr. Arnab was inspired by Prayas’s work with the special kids and upon one visit to one of the cultural programmes where these kids performed, he was completely taken aback and wanted to be involved.

It was his concept that helped Prayas host ‘Give away a smile’ on the 24th December 2019. His thought process was that we all have wonderful childhood memories of Christmas. Being with family, opening presents and sharing love and laughter with our dear ones. He felt that underprivileged kids should not be left out of the Christmas spirit, they too have a right to believe in miracles.

On the 24th of December, Prayas in association with Mr. Arnab Datta hosted ‘Give away a smile’ where 80 kids from underprivileged backgrounds such as kids of sex workers, kids from orphanages and children who are diagnosed with Blood cancer and Thalassemia major, were invited to a cultural programme that was lit up by celebrated achievers from different industries. The programme included dance performances by the special kids of Prayas, a performance by Mr. Avirup Sengupta himself ( the founder of Prayas, he is also a renowned Odissi Dancer and Teacher), Mrs. Reshmi Mitra, Mrs. Devlina Kumar and Miss. Moubani Sorcer.

Later the stage was graced by inspirational figures from different professional fields. They spoke to the audience and the children about their lives, their success stories, looking back at the struggles they had to overcome in order to be where they are today. Our purpose of this was to give the children a role model. This is just what these kids need in their lives, someone they can look up to and hope to become like one day despite their circumstances. These legendary figures included Mrs. Agnimitra Paul, Mrs. Papiya Adhikari, Mrs. Sharbari Dutta, Mrs. Richa Sharma, Mr. Imran Zakir, Mr. Riddhi Bandhopadhyay, Mr. Sanjoy Banerjee, Mr. Raja Dhar and Dr. Sanjoy Ghosh, who were also facilitated at this event.

Prayas for this event got in touch with an NGO -Durbar, where we found our little Christmas miracles. These children enjoyed being taken to a glowing public event where not only did they watch live dance performances by the very best in our industry but were also able to see people that they generally only see on Tv, figures they have only heard of from other people, who have left them in awe by making a difference in society and even leaders in a profession they dream to pursue. Their evening ended with goodie bags including a hearty meal and blankets, as some of them make do without a good cover all winter. It didn’t have to be that way for Christmas Eve. It makes me so happy to think that on this night before Christmas when we all hope for a little bit of magic, these children went to bed with a full stomach, entertained and inspired and most of all … that they had themselves a warm cover for a cruel winter night. All thanks to Prayas and Mr. Arnab Datta. I would like to end my article with a quote from the ancient philosopher Rumi, hoping that you too find the purpose in life that you are looking for, much like we did … “What you seek, is Seeking you”…

I feel like this needs to be written, not just because some of my friends who are soon to be married have asked me to pen this down but I personally feel something like this should be out there..

I got married at the age of 22 and I wish someone had told me these things.. however thanks to my natural instincts that I did it fairly well. At the end of the day all that matters, all that you take to bed with you is your own conscience, how many points you give yourself ? how you fare as per your standards is all that is important to have a healthy mind. Of course it feels amazing when my Husband tells the most beautiful things about me to people, sometimes even to me but only you are fully self aware of your efforts and intentions and thats the only baggage you carry, how light that is, is up to you..

I am no marriage expert, hell I can’t even guarantee that we can hold on to each other forever .. What I can say for the both of us is that we are a Family, him and I, the strongest most important parts of each other’s lives and that does’t go away. After my Dad, if anyone has been an immense positive influence and guiding figure in my life thats my husband. In a marriage, you share a lot more than just a bed… you are a part of each other’s life’s dreams and goals. This is what you are looking for… whether it is ever lasting or not, however long, it should not be a compromise .. you need to have a father, a mother, a sibling, yes even the annoying nature of a sibling and most importantly a friend in your life partner. No matter what, no woman, no child of that woman can ever make him stop being my family (if that happens) and that is what I can guarantee to you. That is what you are looking for in a life partner. Having said these things that have left me teary eyed, let me get down to business. These are my points that you should know or set your expectations according to before tying the knot…

1. Its good to have different hobbies, it is even necessary… No two people are exactly the same and two very similar people can end up having a very boring life. If a couple does the same things together all the time, they will end up spending too much time together and therefore get sick of each other soon…healthy space is probably the second most important thing after Love in a relationship, to give each other the chance to be missed, that is when the love grows.
2. However it is good to share some activities, like bed time TV or a favourite show you both share, some music you collect together, or even little private traditions that you follow. Every time my husband travels, there is this little balcony tradition we have and we never miss it, these things really bond you. Him looking up and just knowing that I will be there waiting for him to wave goodbye before getting into the car. This makes us family. Looking at each other and knowing what the other person is thinking, sometimes surprisingly ending up saying a long absurd sentence with every word the same, this is something that will develop over time with your partner. Be sure to never miss these moments and cherish the bond you have developed, realising out loud what you have, no matter how bad a fight, no matter how busy you are, its the little things that mean the most.
3. Family is very important. It is very important to love and accept each other’s family. There needs to be a fine line that you cannot cross with your in laws, in a given situation we lash out at our parents and they forgive us because they will forgive us even if we are criminals. It goes both ways, a guy or a girl should not cross that line with their in laws. If your relationship is more important to you than being right in a situation then overlooking things is the only way. It doesn’t make you small, it makes your marriage bigger than all that pettiness, if your marriage wins, you win the ultimate argument.. Its okay if it doesn’t workout between the two of you for your own reasons but it is definitely not okay if it doesn’t workout for a different entity.
4. Opposite sex friends is very normal for anyone to have. You can’t expect your partner to stop being friends with someone they have known for decades just because he met you. Old friends are absolutely fine, just think of it this way.. he had known her all this time and he was looking for a wife for years, he has definitely thought about them together, maybe even given it a shot but they are better off as friends. He is marrying you after going through a lot of people, he made the cut on your list where your male friends didn’t and the same goes for you.
5. Don’t think of it as a marriage, be in the head space of living with your boyfriend. That chase, the rush of the uncertainty will make your marriage more desirable to you. Try to be fit and never let go of the good qualities in the girl you were before you met him that’s what sets you apart. Your work ethic, ambition, personal goals and dedication towards family, no one can do all that as well as you. Support towards each other’s life goals is absolutely non negotiable and comes as a pre discussion in any marriage. Be each other’s biggest cheer leader in life and push one another to be better, the best version of themselves.
6. The biggest and most important point in my opinion is that there can only be two people in a marriage. Not your family, not his family, not your best friend anyone cannot tell you how to act think or feel in your marriage… you set your own rules and nobody’s advice / perspective or suggestion should impact your decision, not even mine 🙂

Recently I had the chance to spend some delightful time with the kids of Prayash, an organisation started by Mr. Avirup Sengupta, it is rare still in our times to find such a group of people whose goal is simply to strive for a better quality of life for these very special Kids.

The kids here have been diagnosed at an early age with Autism and Down syndrome. Nowadays in the outer realms of our society there is widespread knowledge about these medical conditions and even though acceptance grows slowly there is still hesitance and prejudice against true inclusion of such Children in our community activities.

It is a common phrase that ‘once you have a child, its not about you anymore’. In the general sense parents have to dedicate their full time attention to their kids for 18 years of their lives. But these kids will never be 18, they will always be your 5-10 year olds and their parents will continue to nurture them, soothe their tantrums and share in grief throughout the rest of their lives. What happens after they are gone ? some of these kids even come from families that are well off, their parents will leave behind enough money for their kids to live out the rest of their lives happily but how will these children go to the banks to even take their money out ? when they don’t even understand what money is.. Can they be trusted with family or employed care takers ? I couldn’t help but notice these questions pounding away at the mind of Mr. Sengupta as he shared with me each of their stories. He has an array of harrowing doubts about the future of these kids or as he likes to call them his kids… the biggest of these uncertainties being.. ‘What happens to them after him ?’

I call Prayash ‘sunshine on a rainy day’ because that is exactly what this place is. Not just for these kids but also for those of us visiting them. Making money or being successful cannot be the only purpose of our lives.. I refuse to believe in such a shallow existence of us human beings, those of us that are so called ‘normal’ some of us even brilliant achievers because when we were born oxygen reached our brains right on time.. a few seconds later and we wouldn’t have the lives we have. Life has to mean more than this, we are the “abled” but how we use our abilities should decide if we in fact deserve the term.

After my first visit I have come to terms with the fact that, I need them more than they need me. Reading to them or doing fun activities that would help their condition improve would in fact be serving my own soul. I know many of you are like me, who have tons of goals either piled on or self inflicted, but how about a purpose ? I have gone through life missing just that little piece of my earth where I can make a difference, you can find that too here.. hanging out with these children is extremely therapeutic and healing and I’m sure we all can do with a little bit of that.

Beneath the blue print of a life planned to the T, there has always been this relentless longing for something more. Perhaps for a sense of self, a desire to live up to a soul unfamiliar to those around me.

I have stepped away from the shed, far enough for the tree to at times forget that I even exist. Leaving behind the contact building social climbers and connection hoarders, while they lay happily in their glass bubbles, I scorch in the heat of realisations and regrets. It was my good fortune that my gambles have somehow landed me exactly where I needed to be, to become a better version of myself and with someone who does not get burdened by the baggage that I carry. Yes, I have been lucky in many ways and yet the collision of my fantastical existence and many bewildering facts have left me broken. I have gathered my shattered self many a times all while holding up a smile in the face of him, he who needed a warm smile to come home to and he who knew deep down that the woman beside him cried herself to sleep on so many nights despite her feeble attempts to hold back her tears, he who is so often maddened with fury being unable to help her. I have been going through waves of depression as so often I have wanted to serve art but have ended up serving people. Creative satisfaction whether on canvas or at work is very important for any human being’s happiness. Not the kind of happiness that you get from buying a designer bag, or simply inheriting something already made successful by someone else, I’m talking about the kind of joy that you get from being able to touch lives with say a unique concept of a cafe you gift your city, or simply a beautiful poem you are able to share with people.

What many people consider to be privilege is in fact a glass ceiling and unlike many privileged children, some are born with wings. The limits set by our titles can sometimes be smothering not to mention the politics that even blood of the dynasty have to face at the chess board. The rule of any dynasty is to hand down the torch but isn’t a torch too risky when facing fast wind or even storms ? What if I want to build a light house, something much bigger and more efficient than the torch like others already have and possibly better than them to win in the game of survival ?

The only way to build my metaphorical light house, no matter on how little an island is to first arrive on that island. It may be small even insignificant of a land compared to big dynasties but it is my legacy built from scratch. It may not generate a million bucks but maybe just maybe it can touch a million hearts and isn’t that the only payment us artists ever long for ? A day job is important to keep your dreams running but it is the dreams that keep us alive, after all too much reality ends up murdering art..

I am grateful to be brought up the way I was, I have met very few people that share my Father’s values and my Mother’s dedication towards her family, it is because of them that I turned out the way I did. At the same time sometimes its better to keep one foot in a fairy tale, where you have all the creative freedom to build as many light houses as you want.

Wouldn’t it be magical if our world was blessed with a Blue Swan ? Or a Pink Panda, maybe a yellow Elephant with Mahagony polka dots all over… but each just one of a kind and there would be none of the same that existed.

They would be exceptional, beautiful and the world would cherish them because there are none other alike. They may not be so blessed to be understood by their own herd because they’re different but they stand out to the onlookers, to the spectators they would be art.

Some of us are drifters, residents of ‘The Neverland’, we see more than that meets the naked eye and feel louder that what most are capable of. We are the Blue Swans.. and it is okay to be pink or orange or you, to be even strange to some. We rarely connect with general people because most do not exist on our decibel extremes and we cannot force fake friendships. You cannot feed us realism or bury us with practicality other than what is absolutely required of us to survive in this Black and White world.

Are you like us ? Are you a Blue Swan ? its alright if you are, your ‘breed’ may not understand you but those of your ‘kind’ always will..